The new preacher had just begun his sermon.
\nHe was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank.<\/p>\n
After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try.<\/p>\n
\u201cBehold, I come quickly,\u201d he said. Still his mind was blank.<\/p>\n
He tried again. \u201cBehold, I come quickly.\u201d Still nothing.<\/p>\n
He tried one more time \u2014 speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.<\/p>\n
The young preacher apologised profusely.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all right, young man,\u201d said the little old lady. \u201cIt was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!\u201d<\/p>\n
============================================
\nA young preacher was asked by the local funeral director
\nto hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.<\/p>\n
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.<\/p>\n
Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.<\/p>\n
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: \u201cI\u2019ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain\u2019t never seen anything like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
============================================
\nThere was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn\u2019t swim.
\nWhen a boat came by, the captain yelled, \u201cDo you need help, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n
The preacher calmly said \u201cNo, God will save me.\u201d<\/p>\n
A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, \u201cHey, do you need help?\u201d<\/p>\n
The preacher replied again, \u201cNo God will save me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven.<\/p>\n
The preacher asked God, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you save me?\u201d<\/p>\n
God replied, \u201cFool, I sent you two boats!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-article"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3141"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3141\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3143,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3141\/revisions\/3143"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindfulescapades.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}